new Delhi: A few years ago Coronavirus In the free world, I came out fresh from a toxic relationship – a kind of forced relationship. 70% of Indians in an emotionally impatient get married believing in the same way – an arranged marriage. The Metromonial website did not mention anything ‘out of the box’ about the boy with whom I was going to meet at Delhi Cafe, it was necessary to meet him.
Third question in this interview I was asked if I can do cooking. The fourth question was whether I had ever been in a relationship before, ‘girls in the media sleep with anyone’ (yes, she told me that too). Seeing my head moving in informal confirmation, he said, ‘It is good that you have told me, but it seems you do not know the rules. Do not tell these things to others, they do not consider it good ‘.
That man obviously could not be mine. Just because he could not do cooking and it is very important to know how cooking is (according to him).
A few months later, I was presented as a future wife in front of the brother of one of my relatives. He turned down my relationship, (just looking at my photo) because I was wearing glasses and I used to work in the media (and there are clever girls in the media). This made my experimental parents feel bad and they left the idea of fitting their daughter in a setup that has become overused by the idea of weddings, ie marriage marriages. But did not leave the idea of marriage.
According to this, the new Netflix series – Indian Matchmaking – is a beautiful film. Matchmaker Seema Tapadia from Mumbai (as she introduces herself to every family she meets), colors the system in her own way.
There is no hateful apartheid, nor is there any hint of caste discrimination, nor any pressure of the family (except Preity and her son Akshay). Probably also because either these families live in America or they belong to the higher class of India.
Seema is honest with her profession in most of the cases. But the Indian ecosystem is such that it has to do what it says – compromise or compromise. According to her, and she says it enough, the girl has to compromise. So when her client Aparna does not agree, she says that she is negative in her approach and has to change (obviously not by looking at her, but by looking at the camera).
When Aparna bends a little, Seema says that she is now seeing a positive change in it. What can not be taken care of in a marriage.
In this series, there is also a man who takes a lot of meanness, but he is a man. Therefore, we do not get to hear words like ‘negative’ for him. It is just that he is going to extract the mean meek.
There is also a mother’s beloved. Akshay, which is the biggest example of the Oedipus complex in India (although it sounds strange). Her mother is a woman, who can take membership of the Indian tribe here, her blood pressure is always high because her 25-year-old son is still a virgin. His demand was, ‘The girl has to be a little flexible’, and she finds a girl who is flixable, adjusting and beautiful too, what else?
One of the two types of passion among Indians is Bollywood and the other is its love stories. Movies have been used for years with the same lovestory packaging and repackaging methods of falling in love in different forms, despite being on the subject of ‘Indian matchmaking’ weddings, it has nothing to do with love.
People are watching the series in ‘binge-watching-watching’ mode (watching many episodes of the series at once, even though they don’t like it), and to be honest, it was strange to watch but I was enjoying it. I knew it was bad, but I was also enjoying this strange feeling.
There will be no Aparna in India, there will not be a self-confident lawyer of 34 years, who wants a husband for herself in accordance with her ideals. In a typical Indian home she will be reminded of her age 100 times a month, she will be told that she is coming of age, there will be difficulty in becoming a mother and if she survives these attacks, she will be pressurized that those who like her He met the first boy, married him only. But Aparna gets a good choice in this series, Akshay also and everyone else.
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I say with experience, one of my cousin who wears glasses, almost rejected a girl simply because she also wore glasses. A cousin ended their 11-year-old relationship simply because of being a separate caste. Another cousin fights the battle daily because he is a Tamil Brahmin and his wife is ‘dark’.
A friend himself confessed that for four years he dated a girl and for the fifth year married a girl of his father’s choice.
Matchmaking imposes a timeline in everyone’s life, often in the name of culture and tradition and always keeping the family name, under the guise of running long, sometimes in the name of gynecology. So there is that range of 23 to 28 years, when you should get married, and if you are above 31, then you have to make compromises. On your likes, dislikes and those who come in between these two. In Indian matchmaking, Seema Tapadia handles families who do not object to a girl who is 7 years older than a boy and can dismiss a girl-boy due to her salary.
This series shows the mirror to the society. This is what happens in India- Look at your parents, your neighbors and your relatives, I can bet that 80% of them will have arranged the Orange Marriage, after seeing the movement of stars and planets, After mixing the horoscope. ‘Indian Matchmaking’ is a truly beautiful film.
On social media, people have become more judgmental about Aparna, who wants to live her life only with her own terms. She never feels regret for herself. She hates comedy and even says it. She is not going to compromise, and she says it. But we have become so involved with the concept of compromise and adjustment in a marriage that we cannot see logic.
‘Indian matchmaking’ is just like the face of such a large matchmaking system in India. In fact, it is very complicated, laborious and humiliating for human emotions, especially for girls. It is worth bargaining for merits and demerits, and is based on pre-determined rules for coils and both genders. And emotional and sexual compatibility, the most important factor in a marriage, they are left behind forever.
Seema Tapadia is an intelligent business person, she understands this need for social recognition, and earns money from it. That is not a problem, the series is not a problem, we are the problem.
(The author writes movie reviews, she has a huge passion for Bollywood, she is interested in national, international news and these are her personal views)